Written by Derek Mulhern, PCC
As leaders, we’re expected to have the answer. So when a decision won’t settle, we keep gathering input and running the options, hoping the right one will finally show itself.
What we don’t always notice is what we’re really waiting for.
I saw this with a client recently. He’d been stuck on the same question for months, and partway through our conversation it became clear the decision itself wasn’t what was holding him back.
It’s something I see often with the leaders I work with.
Happy reading!
The Question Behind The Question
A client sat across from me online recently, stuck on a question that had been following him for months.
Should he let someone on his team go, or keep investing in him?
He had pros and cons. He had a timeline. He had asked three people he trusted. And he still couldn’t land it.
The surprising thing to me was how little of our conversation was about the direct report. Almost every question was about him.
Had I done enough? Had I mentored him enough? Had I given him a real chance?
Two Very Different Jobs
That’s when it got clearer. He wasn’t trying to make a decision. He was trying to make one that couldn’t reflect badly on him.
Those are very different jobs, and the second one doesn’t seem to get an answer.
What Changed When He Chose
Eventually he decided to stay with the person. The shift was immediate. He got specific with his direct report about what he needed and how it would be measured.
Then he did something even harder: he trusted him and stayed engaged. No more re-deciding every Monday.
To be clear, it won’t always work out that way. He may find in three months that he has to choose differently. That’s allowed.
The Cost Of Waiting For Certainty
But look at what it cost him to wait for certainty. Months of energy, none of it going to the person or the work.
Most decisions aren’t right or wrong when you make them. They become right by how you carry them.
That means owning the call, getting clear with the people it touches, and staying willing to adjust.
So here’s a question worth sitting with this week:
